What Happens When Progress Slows or Goes Backwards? Let’s Talk about Skill Regression in Children
Spring is finally here in St. Louis, and that means we are heading into the busy stretch before the end of the school year. For many families across St. Louis and surrounding Missouri communities, the past few months have been tough. Snow days, school schedule changes, and long weekends have made it hard to stay in a steady routine.
If things feel off at home right now, you’re not alone. This is a time when many parents notice changes in their children’s behaviors. And one of the most common concerns we hear in our St. Louis play therapy practice is this: My child was doing so well…what happened?
Let’s talk about regression and how play therapy can help your child.
What is Regression in Children?
Regression is when a child temporarily goes back to earlier behaviors or needs more help with things they used to do on their own. This can happen with kids, teens, and even adults during stressful or busy seasons.
You might notice your child:
Asking for help with tasks they previously mastered (like getting dressed or tying shoes)
Having more emotional outbursts and tantrums
Becoming more clingy or needing extra reassurance
Struggling with routines that used to feel easy
Here’s the most important thing to remember: progress isn’t linear. Even though that sounds cliche, it’s true!
When routines and structure are disrupted—like they often are this time of year—kids can have a harder time accessing the skills they already have. Those skills aren’t gone. They’re just harder to reach right now.
Why Regression Happens (Especially During Busy Seasons)
Children rely heavily on routine, predictability, and connection to feel safe. When those things shift, their nervous system can become overwhelmed.
In places like St. Louis and surrounding Missouri areas, winter weather and school schedule changes can create long stretches of inconsistency. That disruption can lead to stress for both kids and parents.
When kids feel overwhelmed, their behavior often reflects it. Regression isn’t a failure—it’s communication.
Regression is your child’s way of saying: I need a little more support right now.
How to Support Your Child Through Regression
When your child seems more needy or struggles with things they used to do, it can be frustrating, especially when you’re already stretched thin. The goal during these moments isn’t to push harder, but to connect with your child more.
Increase Small Moments of Connection
Before you think, I don't have time for this, take a deep breath. We’re not talking about big outings or long activities. We’re talking about 1-3 minute moments of full attention. These small, high-impact moments can help regulate your child’s nervous system and rebuild their sense of safety.
Examples include:
Singing a short, silly song together
Creating a special handshake
Sitting close while doing hair or getting ready
Sharing a quick hug or playful moment
These short bursts of connection can have a big impact. When children feel connected, they are better able to manage emotions and access their skills. Aim for 2-3 of these moments each day.
Meet the Need in Front of You
This can be one of the hardest shifts for parents. If your child suddenly asks for help with something they can already do—like tying their shoes—it may feel confusing or even frustrating.
But in many cases, this isn’t about the task. It’s about connection and regulation.
Instead of seeing it as a step backward, try to view it as your child asking for support in the only way they know how. There are moments when your child doesn’t need a “coach.” They need a lifeline.
Helping them with their shoes at that moment doesn’t undo their independence. It supports their emotional needs so they can return to independence sooner. If it helps, you can also blend connection into the task:
Sit close while they try to do it on their own
Turn it into a playful race
Offer encouragement with warmth and humor
And sometimes, it’s okay to just help. There will be many opportunities to teach skills again. Right now, the priority is helping your child feel safe and supported.
Remember: Regression is Temporary
It can feel scary to watch your child struggle with things they used to do easily. But most of the time, regression is temporary.
Think about your own life. During stressful seasons, you may procrastinate chores, order takeout more often, or feel less focused. It doesn’t mean you’ve lost these skills. It just means you’re overwhelmed with parenting and life.
Your child is experiencing something similar.
When you focus on connection and regulation, you help them return to their baseline more quickly. When you push too hard during these moments, it can lead to power struggles, frustration, and more stress for everyone.
When Regression Might Be Something More
Most of the time, regression is short-lived and tied to routine changes. Sometimes, it may be a sign of a deeper need.
If you notice:
New behaviors that seem unusual for your child
Regression that lasts longer than a few weeks
Increased anxiety, sadness, or withdrawal
It may be time to pause and get curious. Your child could be communicating that they need extra support. Working with a child therapist or play therapist in St. Louis can help you better understand what your child is experiencing and give you tools to support them.
Support for Families in St. Louis City and St. Louis County
If you’re feeling struck or unsure how to help your child, you’re not alone. Many families in the St. Louis area reach out to us during this time of year for extra support.
Play therapy can help children:
Express emotions in a safe, developmentally appropriate way
Build coping skills
Improve emotional regulation
Strengthen parent-child connection
We also offer support for Missouri parents, because helping your child starts with feeling supported yourself.
You’re Not Alone—And You’re Doing Better Than You Think
If holding hope feels hard right now, that’s okay. We can help hold it with you.
Parenting through regression can feel exhausting, but it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means your child is going through a season where they need a little more support.
And the fact that you’re here, learning and looking for ways to help your child, matters more than you think!
If you’re in St. Louis or surrounding Missouri areas and feel like your child could benefit from extra support, reaching out to a play therapy practice can be a helpful next step. Our trained child and family therapists are eager to support you. Learn more about play therapy with a free consultation today.
You’ve got this. And you don’t have to do it alone.
Meet the Therapist
Jasmine Berger, LCSW & RPT-S, is a passionate child and family therapist in St. Louis, Missouri. As the Founder and Owner of Bud to Bloom Play Therapy, she understands how playful therapy can bring powerful change to not just individual children and isolated families, but to the broader community. If you’re a professional considering training or certification in play therapy, connect with Jasmine to learn more!
