Could My Child Have ADHD?
A Parent’s Guide to Understanding Signs, Strengths & Support
If you’re reading this, you’re likely wondering whether some of the behaviors you’re seeing in your child could be signs of ADHD. Watching your child struggle with big emotions, attention challenges, or impulse control can feel overwhelming — and when the term “ADHD” starts to float around, many parents feel a wave of guilt or self-blame.
We want to say this clearly: you did nothing wrong. You are not alone, and ADHD is not a reflection of your parenting.
The term ADHD doesn’t have to define your child; it can help us understand them more deeply. With the right support, children with ADHD can thrive in ways that are meaningful, joyful, and uniquely their own.
Common Signs of ADHD in Children
Every child is different, and no single behavior confirms an ADHD diagnosis. However, if you’re noticing patterns over time, these are some common signs parents often observe:
Attention and Focus
Easily distracted by sounds, thoughts, or activities
Difficulty focusing when spoken to directly
Starts projects with excitement but switches between activities quickly
Hyperfocus on preferred tasks but struggles with non-preferred ones
Movement and Regulation
Fidgets, taps hands or feet, or squirms in their seat
High energy levels and difficulty regulating their body
Organization and Memory
Trouble keeping track of belongings
Difficulty organizing tasks and materials
Frequent forgetfulness
Impulse Control
Interrupts conversations or blurts out thoughts
Reacts physically or emotionally before thinking through consequencesEvery child is different, and no single behavior confirms an ADHD diagnosis. However, if you’re noticing patterns over time, these are some common signs parents often observe:
How Gender and Race Can Influence ADHD Signs
It’s important to understand that ADHD does not look the same in every child, and signs are often shaped by expectations and biases around gender and race. Girls with ADHD are more likely to show internalized symptoms, such as anxiety, perfectionism, emotional overwhelm, rather than overt hyperactivity. Because their struggles may appear quieter, girls are often overlooked or diagnosed later. In contrast, boys are more likely to display externalized behaviors, such as impulsivity, high activity levels, or classroom disruption, which tend to draw quicker attention from adults. Race also plays a significant role in how ADHD can be perceived and addressed. Black children, in particular, are more likely to have ADHD behaviors interpreted as defiance or behavioral problems rather than neurodevelopmental differences, leading to higher rates of discipline and lower rates of diagnosis and support. Cultural norms, implicit bias, and unequal access to care all influence whether a child’s behaviors are understood through a lens of support or punishment, making advocacy and informed assessment especially important for families from marginalized communities.It’s important to understand that ADHD does not look the same in every child, and signs are often shaped by expectations and biases around gender and race. Girls with ADHD are more likely to show internalized symptoms, such as anxiety, perfectionism, emotional overwhelm, rather than overt hyperactivity. Because their struggles may appear quieter, girls are often overlooked or diagnosed later. In contrast, boys are more likely to display externalized behaviors, such as impulsivity, high activity levels, or classroom disruption, which tend to draw quicker attention from adults. Race also plays a significant role in how ADHD can be perceived and addressed. Black children, in particular, are more likely to have ADHD behaviors interpreted as defiance or behavioral problems rather than neurodevelopmental differences, leading to higher rates of discipline and lower rates of diagnosis and support. Cultural norms, implicit bias, and unequal access to care all influence whether a child’s behaviors are understood through a lens of support or punishment, making advocacy and informed assessment especially important for families from marginalized communities.
“Is My Child Doing This on Purpose?”
Many parents worry that their child is being defiant, careless, or intentionally disruptive. This can be especially hard when behaviors don’t seem to improve with reminders, consequences, or structure.
When it comes to ADHD, these behaviors are not always choices — they are neurological responses. Symptoms typically appear before age 12 and can show up as early as age 3. Understanding why these behaviors happen can shift frustration into compassion, confusion into clarity, and conflict into connection for you and your child.
The “Why:” How the ADHD Brain Works
Children with ADHD experience the world differently because their brains process information differently.
Brain Chemistry
One major difference involves neurotransmitters like dopamine and norepinephrine, which help regulate attention, motivation, and impulse control. Lower or imbalance levels of these chemicals are linked to ADHD and can affect:
Focus
Emotional regulation
Impulsivity
Motivation and reward processing
This is why children with ADHD may struggle to complete tasks that don’t feel immediately rewarding, even when they want to do well.
Brain Structure & Function
Several brain regions develop differently in children with ADHD, including:
Frontal cortex (attention, behavior, emotional regulation)
Limbic system (emotions and motivation)
Basal ganglia (planning, focus, and motor control)
Additionally, the Default Mode Network (DMN) — the part of the brain active during daydreaming — turns on more frequently in ADHD brains. This means attention is constantly being pulled away, even when a child is trying their best to focus.
Emotional Regulation and Self-Esteem
Because of these neurological differences, children with ADHD often:
Feel emotions more intensely
Become frustrated or angry more quickly
Act before thinking
Struggle with tasks they don’t enjoy
Over time, frequent correction or discipline can impact self-esteem. A child who feels “bad” or “in trouble” often has an even harder time regulating their behavior.
This is why support, understanding, and strengths-based approaches are essential.
A Strengths-Based Perspective on ADHD
An ADHD diagnosis is not a life sentence; it’s a roadmap.
Children with ADHD often possess incredible strengths their peers may not have, including:
Endless creativity and imagination
High energy and passion
Deep empathy and compassion
Strong determination
Ability to think outside the box
Adaptability and flexibility
Willingness to take risks and try new things
Those racing thoughts? They can become innovative solutions.
That boundless energy? It can fuel creativity, leadership, and resilience.
Nothing is “wrong” with your child — their brain simply works differently.
How Play Therapy Helps Children with ADHD
Play therapy is a powerful, developmentally appropriate support for children with ADHD.
Through play, children can:
Safely express emotions they don’t yet have words for
Learn emotional regulation and coping skills
Practice problem-solving and social skills
Build confidence by mastering challenges in the playroom
Release excess energy in healthy, constructive ways
Play therapy meets children where they are, using their natural language, and helps them grow emotionally, socially, and neurologically.
You’re Not Alone
Parenting a child with ADHD can feel exhausting, confusing, and overwhelming. School calls, behavior reports, and constant advocacy can take a mental and emotional toll.
But with understanding, support, and the right tools, your child can thrive — and so can you. We’re here to help every step of the way.
