“Why Does My Child Have Tantrums After School?"
The After-School Crash Is Real
At Bud to Bloom Play Therapy, we know the hours right after school can feel like walking into a storm. Your child may seem totally fine one moment and then completely unravel the next and it’s easy to wonder: What just happened?! You're not alone, and it’s not just in your head. The after-school tantrum (what we like to call the “after-school crash”) is a very real and very common experience for many families.
We teamed up with Samantha Lee, Occupational Therapist and owner of Bloom Brightly Therapy, to explore what’s really going on beneath the surface and how you can support your child’s sensory issues during this tricky transition.
Common sensory issues at school: what may be causing overstimulation in your child
School is filled with sensory stressors. Sensory issues can cause challenges for young children, especially children with ADHD and/or Autism. There are so many sounds to manage throughout the day. The classroom and hallways are filled with different voices, and when the bell rings, students shuffle around the building. Students type, write, tap, whisper. It’s a lot to process, especially when you are only supposed to be listening to the teacher and tuning out everything else.
Then there's visual input like other kids moving, bright classroom decorations, fluorescent lighting, etc. Then you get into the smells of the cafeteria, peers, and everything else, and you have a recipe for overstimulation.
Imagine being that overwhelmed by your environment and having limited freedom to manage those feelings. For kids, managing sensory overload often means climbing, running, swinging, and moving their bodies. Limited opportunities for movement can lead to overstimulation or dysregulation (a.k.a. tantrums, shutting down, and anything in between).
What is actually happening after school that makes it SO hard
When you consider a child having to navigate an overstimulating environment while being asked to sit still and be quiet, it’s a big ask! We also ask that they focus on the academic demands of school and manage a complex social environment of peers. It’s A LOT! Those little bodies are taking in and processing so much information every day.
The nervous system, the sympathetic nervous system specifically, can get stressed by this much information. This is the part of our brain and body that is responsible for our survival and our fight/flight/freeze response.
Kids know that they are expected to manage their feelings in appropriate ways at school. The adrenaline from the stress helps them to "keep it together". Once they're with their safe person or people, or in their safe space, they often experience a "collapse" and completely release everything they've been holding in throughout the entirety of the day.
While this explosion of emotion, be it anger, sadness, rage, a combination of multiple feelings, may be overwhelming for their trusted adult, it is essential for kids to have a safe space to fully feel and release these emotions. It's also a sign that they trust you and, as messy as it is, it is a beautiful thing to be a safe place for a child.
What are Signs your child might be dysregulated after school?
Signs often include flushed cheeks, large pupils, a body that seems "fast" (fast speech, fidgeting, shifting), or a body that seems slow, shut down, or zoned out. You may also notice irritability, whining or crying, increased anger, struggling to follow directions or focus, and an overall difficulty managing emotions.
How to help Sensory Seekers at Home?
When you pick your child up or they arrive home, keep things chill! Give them the space to dive into whatever will help them regulate. Each child is different. Here are some things that might help:
Offer a crunchy or chewy snack and a nice cold drink as soon as they get home
Keep the questions to a minimum, at least for now.
A dark, quiet space to color or read and recharge.
Snuggles with their safe adult, reading a story, or playing "I Spy," while they ground and regulate.
A walk, a bike ride, jumping on a trampoline, climbing something, or running around.
No matter what a child might need when they get home, they ALL need and will benefit from connection with their safe adult, so finding ways to connect will help them regulate faster.
How can play therapy and OT overlap and work together?
OT is able to help the nervous system regulate using sensory interventions.
Some children have increased difficulty in processing their sensory world. When this is the case, or when a child is upset, it can be hard for them to truly engage in play therapy.
OT can help a child manage their environment more efficiently and stay regulated so that they can engage more in play therapy. In doing so, they can begin to process trauma, learn coping skills, and build confidence!
At Bud to Bloom, we believe in honoring your child’s needs body, brain, and heart.
If the after-school crash is a daily battle in your home, we’re here to help. Play therapy and OT can be powerful tools to help your child process their day, build emotional regulation skills, and feel safe in their own skin.
Whether you're ready to explore therapy, connect with a trusted occupational therapist like Samantha, or just want to learn more about your child’s behavior we’re here for you.
Learn more about Samantha at at https://www.bloombrightlytherapy.com/
